FULL CIRCLE.

from home to fullerton, and now back to
H O M E S W E E T H O M E.
I've made a full circle
& oh my have I grown.
some people see it as...
"Jean, you've changed"
I see it as...
"Damn, I've grown as a person."
Can't blame the different perspectives,
but I'm keepin' mine in a positive light.

Man oh man.
Just this past week I've spent the most consecutive time
I've spent at MY HOME since I moved out two years ago.
It started with a complaint of complaining that just motivated me to be like

"FUCK IT...let's get proactive!"

and with that the mission to complete the incomplete house began.
There's no use in complaining. Initiating the action is the hardest part, but as soon as the ball got rolling...it started going by fast.

day 1: cleaning mish
day 2: primer dinning/living room
day 3: primer family room/ paint dinning room & living room
day 4: finish primering & painting family room
day 5: finish painting family room/primer & paint kitchen/get rid of junk in garage & backyard/ dump all the trash at city dump / finish tile floor in dinning & living room / clean backyard / trim front yard bushes.

sooo much goin on...and the progression just keeps getting faster and faster.
The best part about it is that my dad seems sooo happy about it now...
even though things are tough for us right now things are gettin better.

side note: when things have gotten so hard that you have to tell
your dad (my super hero..that can do anything) to hang in there,
and try to convince him that things we'll get better 'cause he has us (me & my sisters),
any sign of hope radiating from him is a relief.
i love my daddy :]

So anyway...pops is laying down tiles and soon enough we will have a downstairs again.
Pretty awesome considering that's prolly gonna be my spot for a min. until I move out for good. It's not like I don't have a room, or couldn't have a room, but I feel that my lil' sisters really deserve their own spot, and of course my older sister is comin back home and she has gianna, and they need a spot...and with a four bedroom house...well there's only sooo many spots to be taken over haha. I don't mind though..it'll be a nice change of pace just to live with my sisters and pops and the lil monster again.

i'm not even gonna lie. There are some days where I just feel like I don't have my own space any where, but that feeling fades away real quick when I realize how selfish I am being.

Let's focus on the bigger picture...sometimes shitty things happen to good people, but instead of complaining about what you dont have...how bout lets concentrate on making things work with what we do have. With this new & old venture we've taken on with the house...the notion that I have the best support system in the world was reassured...family & friends...gotta love em.

sweat. blood. tears....it's all worth it.

we are the definition of perseverance.

The recent addition of spending time at my house has brought about a bombardment of old memories. Just today, as I was cleaning out the garage, I found an old box of my stuff marked BADTJs. My stomach sank to the ground, and my heart felt uplifted and heavy at the same time...as I remembered these people from my past...i'll save this for another entry...because lets just say these people....well they mean that much...